It is getting worse and worse. The older I get, the more I find myself gazing off into the distance with absolutely NOTHING going on in my head.
I’m not even daydreaming or amusing myself with brainteasers or planning the rest of my day. I’m just sitting there as if someone hit the off switch on the back of my neck.
I am so disconnected right now and I have no idea what to do about it. More and more, I think I need to find some kind of work that re-engages me with humanity. Well, “re-engages” is probably not the appropriate word as that implies I was at at some previous point in my life, engaged.
I think I have always been more prone to attachments to any type of living being EXCEPT humanity. I think the last time I had a human I considered a “best friend” was in the third grade for goodness sake.
Maybe I can find some work, some purpose, that centers around animals or birds, with humans somewhere in the periphary – present but not the main focus.
Before that switch rusts in its current off position.