The State Of My Brain

It is getting worse and worse.  The older I get, the more I find myself gazing off into the distance with absolutely NOTHING going on in my head.

Exactly how I feel today.

I’m not even daydreaming or amusing myself with brainteasers or planning the rest of my day.  I’m just sitting there as if someone hit the off switch on the back of my neck.

I am so disconnected right now and I have no idea what to do about it.  More and more, I think I need to find some kind of work that re-engages me with humanity.  Well, “re-engages” is probably not the appropriate word as that implies I was at at some previous point in my life, engaged.

I think I have always been more prone to attachments to any type of living being EXCEPT humanity.  I think the last time I had a human I considered a “best friend” was in the third grade for goodness sake.

Maybe I can find some work, some purpose, that centers around animals or birds, with humans somewhere in the periphary – present but not the main focus.

Before that switch rusts in its current off position.

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10 Responses to The State Of My Brain

  1. Pat Bean says:

    Great poster of your cat. And thoughts. I have the opposite problem. I stop to think and my thoughts get so jumbled up I can’t make sense out of any of them.

    • Wazeau says:

      The poster is actually not my cat but a popular ICANHASCHEEZBURGER shot. I linked the site to the picture – if you have not yet discovered it, you will spend the evening laughing I can assure you 🙂

      It is only at work that my mind turns off like this. When I actually want to be at rest (such as when I am trying to go to sleep), I cannot STOP thinking. Sigh.

  2. minlit says:

    You have no idea how closely that corresponds to the train of thought I was on last night….

  3. Hallysann says:

    Ha ha, I used to tell the girls they had an off switch on the back of their head … If I hit it hard enough they would turn off 🙂
    But seriously, have you thought about researching your family tree or something like that ? I’ve been researching mine for years and have met some very interesting people along the way.

    • Wazeau says:

      I’m actually afraid of what I might find back there. I am one of those people who have no family whatsoever except for the one I produced myself, my wonderful son. My father is dead; I think my mother is still alive somewhere but we have had no contact since my son was barely two years old. Its one of those sordid soap opera dramas of an upbringing. I have no desire to attempt to resurrect my past when I have invested so much in completely burying any memory of it.

  4. I’m with you…If I didn’t blog I might not have any interaction other than my Hubby. Which is fine by me! There’s no rule that says we HAVE to be social.

    • Wazeau says:

      If work didn’t force me into the office 40 hours a week the only person I would talk to is the cashier at my grocery store and, once a month, the pharmacist who doles out my blood pressure and synthroid medications! And, since I work in a cubical, I have no contact with the public and talk to, maybe, two or three of my co-workers once or twice a day in person. The rest of the time its strictly email or phone or web-connect. Which I am usually perfectly content with 🙂

      Now I have to send my son a text and the little bugger better send me one back just to prove to myself I’m not a total hermit!

  5. lifewith4cats says:

    I enjoy seclution away from humans so much that this is why I started bloging. I figured it was a healthy way not to loose touch completey. Surprisingly it has a side affect of making me feel a tiny bit more social in the real world. Notice I said tiny. heheh If humans all talked liked cats…say with gestures and looks instead of nonstop talking, Ide like humans more.

    @katnip lounge its funny how this one comment you just made on this post echoed my life and sentiments so exactly….I just clicked your name to see your blog. If you could here how loudly I yelled WOW when I saw that room. That is just the coolest room ever! And its got class too. Anyway, I tried to suscribe but I don’t know if I did it right. Blogspot confuses me so much! Can I suscribe by email?

    @wazea sorry for starting an off topic convo. But I couldnt figure out how to comment on her blog? I hope its ok?

    • Wazeau says:

      no problemo! I subscribed to katnip using the RSS feed, that’s how I do it on all the blogspot stuff. I copy the URL the RSS feed button on her site gives me, to my email reader as a “new feed” and then I get all the new posts there. I am just love her setup and very much enjoy seeing all her wonderful cat photos.

      Everyone’s responses here make me feel so much more like a part of humanity – see, even those of us that prefer to be isolationists, can get our relatively small needs met through our shared passion for our pets, huh 🙂

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