I Got Out Today

I left the house today, on a Saturday!  And not just to get groceries, either!

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I took the train to Philadelphia and visited the Philadelphia Museum of Art.  You may not fully comprehend the immensity of this.  I am a hermit, I can barely make myself leave the house to go to work.  I used to get my groceries delivered but now that my store cancelled that service, I have to go out for them as well.  Visiting my son for Christmas took a tremendous effort.  And to take a train!  Which involves driving and parking at the train station in Paoli, and then getting on it and then OUT in Suburban Station in Philadelphia, where I have never been (the train station, not Philadelphia).  And then a BUS to the art museum.  This is beyond extraordinary for me.

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I have been wanting to go since I took up watercolor painting again – something I haven’t done since I was in elementary school.  I think that was the last time I was at the art museum too – sometime back in pre-history.   I have been thinking and planning the trip, and then backing out from stress and fear and lethargy, over and over. 

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So today I had, yet again, planned to go.  Of course when I woke up I immediately started thinking that I just couldn’t do it.  It was a beautiful, warm, gorgeous day, and I was my usual baby self, frightened of doing something new, even though I really really wanted to.

Then something I read on Joe Peacock’s webpage the other day came bubbling back up.  It is one of his short entries, and I hope he doesn’t mind if I quote it here.

2012 is now four days old. This is a short, friendly reminder that you are going to die.

Quit fucking around. Your life is ending one day at a time. Fill it with things other than regret for not filling it with things.

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So I told myself to stop being a baby and go get on the freaking train. 

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And I did.  I had a fabulous time on a gorgeous day looking at some wonderful art.  Nothing went horribly wrong.  Yes, I missed the train I had planned to take home, but you know what?  There was another one thirty minutes later.

I want to “fill [my life] with things other than regret for not filling it with things”.  Amen, Joe.

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28 Responses to I Got Out Today

  1. You GO! Kudos to you.

    ::clapping wildly::

  2. catfromhell says:

    Excellent! Way to go! YOU, my dear, ROCK! Life is too shor to let our fears master us and you have proved that yours can not master you.
    We sends yous kitty kisses, wet – hairy slobbery sister kisses, and a gentle kiss on the check and a pat on the back from me – Nellie’s Mommy

  3. Saemmabel says:

    Good for you for getting out! I enjoy Philly alot! Thanks for sharing the photos. Brings back great memories!

  4. Oldcat says:

    I was spending time in Philly once and visited Valley Forge and Brandywine battle parks. Since they are out in the suburbs there isn’t a lot of traffic. If you are interested in history, they have it. If you are not so interested, well, they are well kept up parks and very pretty.

  5. Fantastic! So glad for you,! Now, when’s the next trip? 🙂

  6. Oh how wonderful that you “pushed” yourself enough to do something you really wanted to do…..and it turned out to be a memorable day. That’s just GREAT and a wonderful way to push your own personal “envelope” !! Congratulations….this could certainly broaden your horizons for the new year and beyond.

    Pam

    • Wazeau says:

      Now that I have done the train trip thing, I am much more confident about future trips. I definately want to go back to the art museum, and there are many many more places downtown Philly that I have never seen.

      I don’t know how people do this kind of thing all the time – doing new things that is. Its sort of exhausting 😛

  7. Pat Bean says:

    What a great accomplishment for you. Today’s blog is inspiring. Thanks for sharing. Your words touched me. Maggie says congratulations, too. Keep it up.

  8. animalartist says:

    Cynthia, congratulations on breaking out of your little world! I’ll hibernate just the same since I work at home and nearly everything I do is done just by me and it’s so hard to break out of that some times–especially when we’re pretty happy at home! But don’t you live in Florida? Did you travel all the way to Philly? If so, that’s quite a first step!

    • Wazeau says:

      Nope, I’m a Pennsylvanian! I live in Chester County which is just west of Philadelphia. So it wasn’t that bad – or wouldn’t be for most people I think. The train trip was less than an hour. I get myself so worked up in my head stressing about each and every little detail. But when I actually do things, they aren’t ever as bad as my imagination made it. Most of the blockades in my life are things I’ve manufactured myself and I don’t know why I am so afraid of doing something new and different. Especially when I want to so badly!

  9. nadbugs says:

    Very very well done. One step at a time.

    • Wazeau says:

      I seem to take this particular step over and over and then fall back again! But I think I’ve opened up Philadelphia by train and I know I will do that trip again.

  10. ceciliag says:

    Oh you are a soul mate of mine, I don’t have to leave my property because I work right here so i am always looking for ways to avoid going anywhere. I can talk john into getting groceries when he is out there so sometimes i can go for weeks without going to town. I deliver my eggs and visit my old people and scuttle back down my burrow. so i KNOW where you are coming from and the gallery must have been divine. c

    • Wazeau says:

      Thank goodness there are others! Sometimes people at work look at me like I’m weird when I mention that I didn’t leave the house the entire Thanksgiving long weekend, or that my favorite vacations are spent going nowhere. If I find its been more then a few weeks without venturing anywhere but work and the grocery store I deliberately force myself to go out on a Saturday either walking around the Exton Mall (five minutes away) or along the bike trail. I also have a friend I visit once a month, and he is all the way in Morrisville which is a 45 minute drive, and we do lunch and a movie, so there! I get out of my routine at least twice a month! And this month I can say, I WENT TO PHILADELPHIA, ha HA! Take that!

  11. What an inspirational post ~ thnk you. xxx

  12. Flo says:

    Well done you! It’s amazing how at times our conscious reasoning has to go into battle against some other area of our brains. Keep the momentum going.

    What beautiful buildings there are in Philadelphia. Am I right in saying it used to be the capital of the USA? We don’t have any buildings like that here and I miss that historical architecture terribly so really enjoyed those photos. I am sure I heard a story on the radio this week about the old post office in Philidelphia being saved, or preserved, or something…

    Now, I used to work in a museum in the natural history section and I am setting you a task, so listen up. I would like to see some photos of your (in the very near future) trip to the museum asap please. I miss those old museums too! Momentum!

    H 🙂

    • Wazeau says:

      I let myself be too worried about missing buses and stuff that I didn’t take as many photos of downtown as I wanted. When it warms up a bit I’m going to spend more time walking around with the camera out. I believe you are right, Philadelphia was at one time the capital. When I go to jury duty at the end of this month, I’m going to get some of the courthouse building.

      The Natural History Museum is definately one my list for the next trip!

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