No, it is not Nekoka who is feeling stressed, miserable, wrung out, and fatigued. It’s me. After thirteen years with my company, I’m getting the boot.
To be fair and non-self-centered, it is not just me – the company is shutting down the Malvern office (and a bunch of other offices) and everyone was either given a relocation offer or, like me, an end-date as of which my job will no longer exist. Said date being (subject to their whim of course) September 30th.
I am not very good at change, especially when it is forced upon me. So many decisions. So much uncertainty. But – since I have to look for a job anyway, I might as well look for one out in Tucson, right? Where my son lives. In the meantime, I’m making a list of everything I have to think about, decide upon, and do in order to turn my entire life (the last twenty-eight years of which have been here in Malvern, the last twenty in my very own townhouse, the last thirteen working for this company) upside-down.
In the meantime as a stress-reducer, I’m doing a lot of crocheting. I’ve finished two more shawls!
Yes, I am a shawl-madwoman. I’m also giving away and throwing out and generally frazzling myself silly with my brain totally being unable to stop spiraling madly into frenzies of panic, fear, and a certain tiny little sense of excitement.
And I’m having a lot of nightmares. Losing a job can do that to you, as I’m sure many of you understand. I’m seriously wishing I hadn’t stopped drinking and eating myself into a coma. I have been good though and my only obsessions have been the crochet hook, the elliptical, and surfing the net looking at real estate in Tucson.
It is a long way till the end of September and there will be a severance package (if my company follows through on its statement of intent). In the meantime, I am going to keep my eye on the prize – living in the same city as my son. In the SUN.
Now where is my crochet hook…